Acidic Deception
She speaks the words of betrayal
I cannot hear
I cannot see
The words bring confusion
It makes no sense
How can this be?
Seeking solace on the tiled floor
Why the bathroom gives me comfort
I cannot say
I am not sure
The words she spoke rise up in me
Come spilling out
Into the toilet
Acid burns the back of my throat
Time soon passes
I'm glued to the spot
I try to move, the bond is too strong
Eyes fixated on the same spot
In a trance from those twisted words
Mouth hangs open, still in surprise
Tongue runs dry
I feel nothing and yet,
I feel everything
The swirling vortex of crap inside me,
Hurricane insanity
Becomes too much to bare
The way to get off the bathroom floor,
becomes clear
A flash of silver
A trickle of red
One stroke
Two stroke
Three stroke
Four
I crave the pain,
But it's there no more
Release over
The shame kicks in
The glue has dissolved
The ability to stand seems to have resolved
Walking hunched, back to the sheets
Thinking of all the lies,
All the deceits
How much more can one person take?
Through much uncertainty, of one thing I'm sure...
...The future holds many visits to the bathroom floor.
(First, I need to say, I have come here a couple times since you changed the background and completely didn't recognize the new look. I like it but didn't recognize it. Not that it matters, since I am a total stranger. I just know how deep this hurt is. I didn't want to be a fly by night kind of commenter and then disappear.) I am reading and watching from a distant land, helpless because I see a girl on the bathroom floor who deserves to be held, rocked and loved by her Mother and told it's really going to get better. And I am so sorry this has happened to you. And you didn't deserve this. It's not your fault and you are loveable.
ReplyDeleteHey Pink...I remember you saying one day that you didn't think writing a poem would come out right or would flow well together...when actually this is awesome... Its a very contradicting statement seeing as to how well writing this is and beautiful yet so bleak..and heart wrenching at the same time... Im sending you lots of hugs...and ye know I here for ye if you need anything...ttusoon kid..love ye much :D
ReplyDeleteSharon, thanks for liking the new look and it is nice to know you are still reading my blog :)
ReplyDeleteWhat you said is really sweet but please don't feel helpless, just reading your comment brings a smile to my face and warmth to my heart! Thank you so much for all your kind words!!
Marpuddin, thanks for your appreciation of my poem, i know you know i worry if it sounds 'poemy' (webster and his dictionary are going to come looking for me for that one!).
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading and your supportive comment!
Pinks