Dear 23

23 is all I see,
That number rips a hole in me.
Sends me shaking,
Breathing fast
A reality I find hard to grasp.


23 I dread its arrival,
Between the sheets is key to survival.
Refusing to leave, 
Despite my will
23 It haunts me still.


23 I know your face,
I'm used to being in this place.
Staring up,
The ceilings black
Trying desperately to not look back.


23 Makes dark memories stir,
Reality around me becomes a blur.
3, 2, 1, time travelling back,
No escaping
I'm forced to look back.


23 Please make it stop,
Nightmares, flashbacks
Memory attacks.
All these thoughts within my mind,
Feels like they'll never subside.


23 Your silence screams loud,
Unwanted ghost I hope your happy
I hope your proud.
The tortured girl within my soul,
Never again shall be whole.


Dear 23, because of you,
And all that you have put me through
This girl is hanging,
by a thread
how has she survived? how is she not dead?